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Which brings me to my true purpose: Encouraging your support of Referendumcommonly known as the Gerbil Protection Act of By supporting this measure, you'll be liberating an entire innocent species from the oppression of a most malicious urban legend. Support The Stranger.

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Within hours of returning to power Monday, United States President Donald Trump issued a stunningly broad executive order that seeks to dismantle crucial protections for. Ferrets are disgusting already, and have naturally intestine-friendly contours. Still, the story lives on—sullying the reputation of gays, of course, but also doing irreparable damage to an even more vulnerable and defenseless group: the gerbil community.

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